I sat on my couch. Went to bed, got up, drove to work, worked, drove home, and sat on my couch and felt bad because I was tired, fat, and not making any progress on my personal and professional goals. I felt overwhelmed. It's called depression. Apparently my body is sensitive, so if one little piece of of it goes out of wack, it all goes out of wack - kind of. And I managed to fall into a lukewarm relationship with a man. The sad part is that when you are lonely, a lukewarm relationship is better than no relationship and no affection. It's even sadder when you come to that realization.
There were a few good days and moments mixed in there. I don't know if I'll be writing more on this blog, or if this is my last post. I have so much work to do to be a thriving, happy, healthy woman. And really, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Then I want a fantastic, wonderful miracle to happen to fix me and my life.
God didn't make me to sit in a box eight hours a day and do boring work. Yet, I feel guilty complaining about it because I was out of work so long. Even now, I am a temp. How about some benefits? God made people to interact with nature in some way and move our bodies. I like to interact with nature by walking in a park and smelling the roses. God gave me an intelligent and creative mind, so why can't I use it to support myself and get out of debt?
I have much work to do to get healthy, get happy, get successful, and do the dreaded task of getting out of a lukewarm relationship. I have to make friends with LinkedIn, office politics, exercise, and cooking. All those things kind of repulse me to be honest. My hormones have gone out of wack. My latest craft project looks pathetic and . . . I have laundry to do and papers to organize and oil that needs to be changed in my car that is rusting away around me.
So I will be going to doctors, eating watermelon, eating chocolate, and trying to turn my life around in a better direction.
Anyway, I would like to give a shout out to some of my favorite bloggers:
Becky who makes rosaries, Leila who has the blog that never sleeps, Marie who really enjoys her daughter Elizabeth, Monica in Switzerland, Meghan with guts to quit her job and go on the road for Jesus, Elizabeth who is married to Crafty Dad, Richard who's fighting the good fight across the pond, Seraphic who advocates for singles and good taste, Christine who likes old fashioned toys, Baby Dominic who is too young to blog, Callah who has guts to be herself, Rebecca who raises seven children and does Crossfit, Jennifer who is a warrior against scorpions, Patti who shows us the joy of having eleven children, Sarah who takes care of her various family members, Miggy the artist, Amber the humorist, and Amanda who is lucky enough to work as a kitchen designer. I know I am missing a few people. Some of those bloggers are listed on my blog, and some are not.
Now I will try to accomplish something or not.