Thursday, September 26, 2013

I May Be Looking Forward to Obamacare - Domestic Partner Insurance

I know I'm not suppose to be a fan of Obamacare, but I'm wondering if it'll be good for me.

-I have not held a full-time job with benefits for over five years.
- I have pre-existing conditions, one is very serious.
- I cannot afford private insurance.
-After my COBRA ended, I was able to join a state run pool for sick people who have been rejected by cold-hearted underwriters. I strongly dislike you, underwriters!
- I pay OVER $500 a month in insurance premiums to this program. It's not welfare.
- My insurance covers 80% of in network care.
- One of the CO-pays on my medication is $200.00 for a 90-day supply.
-  Once I had a somewhat healthy retirement fund. I have paid taxes on early distributions. I have paid penalties on early distributions.
-My credit rating is probably zero.
-The threat of an account going to "collections" is not a threat, just a fact of life.
-My car is 13 years old.
-Ironically, I am working in the collections area of Big Company as a temp. (I do paperwork, other people make those annoying calls)
-Sometimes I am just amazed that I have a roof over my head.
-My yearly deductible is $1,000.
-I know some of you may have just as horrible medical-financial situations or have it even worse.
-So when my State Insurance Pool tells me that Obamacare plans will be cheaper, and I'm suppose to get benefits that I'm not getting now, well, I just may be looking forward to Obamacare.

-I rather resent those who get insurance through domestic partner insurance. I don't have a spouse, I don't have a domestic partner. Maybe I should get one. Do you have to have sex with a domestic partner? What determines a domestic partner? Do you have a date for a certain amount of time before you qualify??? What if you break up and don't tell the company?

I'm trying to wrap up this post with something spiritually healthy, but my mind isn't going there right now.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Scripture Questions from my Fuzzy Mind

What's that story where a prophet with the letter E learned that God is in the quiet whisper and not in the roar of the storm or gusty wind?

Also, somewhere in the Old Testament some people were wandering around and then they followed a moving pillar of smoke or something. Where's that in the Bible? I was driving to work on the expressway and I saw smoke. I thought I would get closer to the smoke, but it kept moving forward. I thought of that Bible story. I think it was a car with a bad exhaust system.

A deacon I know said God doesn't give signs anymore because Jesus came. Huh? I wish I asked for more of an explanation.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Some Kind of Connection and a Few More Things

I know there has to be a connection to my money worries of yesterday and the readings at today's Mass. Some kind of connection, right? Then why can't I make that connection? Am I slow? Does anybody want to explain? My brain may have taken a vacation.

A seminarian spoke during the homily to talk about his journey thus far. Somewhere along the way, he met a woman and became engaged to be married. "Oh no," I thought, "Not another seminarian who broke another heart." It turned out the woman broke his heart. She was the one who called it off.

I had an achey neck, shoulder, and back, which I attribute to lack of ergonomics at the workplace. My dad and I went out for pizza, and the air conditioning in the restaurant seemed to blow directly on my achey spots making it worse. I asked my dad if he had a scarf with him, but of course he didn't.

Took nap on couch under warm blanket, and achey spots went away. Like magic. What is more delicious than a nap on a quiet weekend afternoon?

I have concluded that naps are wonderful.

It is now autumn.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

God's Responsibility

Overwhelmed again about the bills, the debt. So my bills that I must pay for the never-ending debt is now in a folder titled If I Win the Lottery or God's Responsibility. They are mostly medical bills of doctor visits and surgeries and lab tests and CT scans and the like that I have since being losing my job with benefits over five years ago followed by years of unemployed then part-time temp jobs, then full time temp job . . . Oh yes, let me throw the student loans for the times I went to back to school for a master's degree when I tried to reinvent myself. I don't want to be irresponsible, but aren't we suppose to turn to God. As for as the medical bills go, it's amazing how much the 20% the copay is after the insurance picks up the 80% and how the 20 percent adds up.

I just can't handle this anymore by myself.

Three Times a Excercising

I exercised three times this week following the program in Body by You: The You Are Your Own Gym Guide to Total Women's Fitness. 

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Exercise Program, Monica's Good Idea, and Meg is a Hobo for Christ

Because I'm a bit squishy and Monica came up with a good idea, I started a new exercise program.  I'm doing it because my clothes are shrinking in the closet, I'm somewhat vain, it's a healthy thing to do,  and  Meg said our bodies are wonderfully made temples, so I ought to take care of it.

I am following the program in Body By You: The You Are Your Own Gym Guide to Total Women's Fitness by Mark Lauren and Joshua Clark.  Monica I think is in better shape than I is doing The You Are Your Own Gym. Maybe after 12 weeks I'll be ready to upgrade to that.

I'm determined to do this program for 12 weeks when I will then have a body that will launch a thousand ships . . . I meant to write inner beauty is important, and God cares about what's in my heart. 

I only need to exercise three measly days a week for less than a half-hour. I could exercise in my pajamas if I so choose in the comfort of my own home. No drives to the gym, no membership fee. I paid $16.00 for the book plus sales tax. I could listen to whatever music I want or watch whatever t.v. program I want or space out. I kind of wish someone would magically appear and make sure I'm using the correct form and not causing injury to self. 

To change the subject, have you been reading Meg's blog at She gave up her home and a good job to be a hobo for  Christ. She seems nice, so maybe you could invite her over to your house. I put her on my blog roll. 

Friday, September 13, 2013

I Think My Guardian Angel Honked

I was driving on the interstate to work yesterday and heard honking. I looked to my left and a car was swerving away from me and back into its own lane. Apparently that car was going to merge into my car and cause a bad accident and bodily injury or death, but someone honked. I didn't honk. It was either another driver or my guardian angel. I was happy and grateful that someone saved me from a very bad accident.

Someone once told me I should name my guardian angel. I named mine Debbie after a nice, gentle woman I once knew at church who made me an angel Christmas tree ornament. Do you have a name for yours?

Saturday, September 7, 2013

Fasting and Praying for Syria

Pope Francis is asking us to pray and fast for the people in Syria who need peace. It's not too late to fast and pray even though it may be evening when you are reading this or tomorrow.

Dear God, Dear Mother Mary, I believe in miracles. I trust in you. 

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Humanity and When Violent Criminals Die

Ariel Castro did horrible, horrible, horrible things to girls, women, and children (yes, I'm including the unborn children). Yet, I am kind of uncomfortable when I hear people make gleeful comments about his suicide. Some say it's unfair to his victims. I don't know. Whatever the young formerly captive women think, feel, or say is not something I could ever judge. They have their path of healing to travel upon.

Recently a man who kidnapped a teen-age girl was shot to death in Idaho, and the girl is free. On one hand, I am glad the girl (Hannah I think is her name) won't have to go to court and worry if he ever gets out on parole. The kidnapper was threatening law enforcement. Sure he saves the taxpayers' money.

John Wayne Gacy performed horrible acts of violence upon his victims and killed them too. Yet, I remember the morning after his execution thinking, "We killed him."

Jeffrey Dahmer was killed by fellow inmates, so no more worries about him. Part of me has a sense of relief as a member of society. Yet, as a member of society, as a human, as a Catholic,  I am very uncomfortable and squeamish about people killing people even if those people are killing themselves or they killed other people.

The above criminals can never hurt another person. It's great that they can cause no harm because they have caused plenty of harm. Yet to rejoice seems wrong even if I understand people would rejoice or say they deserved it. I can understand the anger and the demand for justice behind people who promote capital (?) punishment.

These are very complex issues, and the victims have suffered great harm to their bodies, souls, and heart. There is justice to take into account.

As a Catholic, as a woman, as a touchy-feely person, I wish everyone could die a peaceful death after a long, long, happy, happy, happy. loving, loving life in the arms of a loved one. Yes, I wish for a life of rainbows and bunnies. And that is why I NEED to believe in the Creed, in Jesus, the Eucharist, in my faith. Society is so dark, otherwise.

Monday, September 2, 2013

What I Did This Summer

I sat on my couch. Went to bed, got up, drove to work, worked, drove home, and sat on my couch and felt bad because I was tired, fat, and not making any progress on my personal and professional goals. I felt overwhelmed. It's called depression. Apparently my body is sensitive, so if one little piece of of it goes out of wack, it all goes out of wack - kind of. And I managed to fall into a lukewarm relationship with a man.  The sad part is that when you are lonely, a lukewarm relationship is better than no relationship and no affection. It's even sadder when you come to that realization.

There were a few good days and moments mixed in there.  I don't know if I'll be writing more on this blog, or if this is my last post. I have so much work to do to be a thriving, happy, healthy woman. And really, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Then I want a fantastic, wonderful miracle to happen to fix me and my life.

God didn't make me to sit in a box eight hours a day and do boring work. Yet, I feel guilty complaining about it because I was out of work so long. Even now, I am a temp. How about some benefits? God made people to interact with nature in some way and move our bodies. I like to interact with nature by walking in a park and smelling the roses. God gave me an intelligent and creative mind, so why can't I use it to support myself and get out of debt?

I have much work to do to get healthy, get happy, get successful, and do the dreaded task of getting out of a lukewarm relationship. I have to make friends with LinkedIn, office politics, exercise, and cooking. All those things kind of repulse me to be honest.  My hormones have gone out of wack. My latest craft project looks pathetic and . . .  I have laundry to do and papers to organize and oil that needs to be changed in my car that is rusting away around me.

So I will be going to doctors, eating watermelon, eating chocolate, and trying to turn my life around in a better direction.

Anyway, I would like to give a shout out to some of my favorite bloggers:

Becky who makes rosaries, Leila who has the blog that never sleeps, Marie who really enjoys her daughter Elizabeth, Monica in Switzerland, Meghan with guts to quit her job and go on the road for Jesus, Elizabeth who is married to Crafty Dad, Richard who's fighting the good fight across the pond, Seraphic who advocates for singles and good taste, Christine who likes old fashioned toys, Baby Dominic who is too young to blog, Callah who has guts to be herself, Rebecca who raises seven children and does Crossfit, Jennifer who is a warrior against scorpions, Patti who shows us the joy of having eleven children, Sarah who takes care of her various family members, Miggy the artist, Amber the humorist, and Amanda who is lucky enough to work as a kitchen designer. I know I am missing a few people.  Some of those bloggers are listed on my blog, and some are not.

Now I will try to accomplish something or not.