Saturday, May 26, 2012

Marriage is Hard Work I Hear

My temp job ended, so I plan to catch up on commenting.

Why do married people say that marriage is work? Sometimes they say marriage is hard work. They say this in response to my lamenting about not being married. Do they say it because it's true? Do they say it to make me feel better? Do they say it because they are disillusioned? To discourage me? Why? Maybe I should ask them?

Yes, sometimes I appreciate the fact I don't have meddling in-laws or more loads of laundry or I can eat ice cream for dinner or, or, or . . . . There are pros and cons to every situation in life.

But do I want an easy, flat life? Do I want a challenging life? I really try not to complain. Do they think I am too wimpy for the job of marriage?

Just because we really don't know what marriage is until we're in it, does that mean we should avoid it?

I really hope you respond, dear readers.

Yes, I really enjoy the fact that I often can indulge in hours of reading a great novel or doing a puzzle or a craft.


Becky said...

I think the reason we tend to say that marriage is hard work, is because this is the reality of marriage. Just like we LOVE our kids, but kids are a lot of work too. It's the first thing that pops into your head, the first thing out of your mouth. We just tend to state the negatives, I guess. I don't think it's that people are trying to say that you're better off alone or that you couldn't handle it.

I was single for a long time so I know the single life. I do understand the loneliness of it. My brother is single too. I'm sure I've stated alot of insensitive things around him too.

Marriage is hard work not because you are living with the person every day of your life or that he doesn't seem as handsome or woo you as much, it's because when you see your "knight in shining armor fall off his horse, you find yourself disappointed in him. And you're disappointed in yourself for feeling let down. It's a lot of work because you take on each others weaknesses, and this is for the rest of your life. This is, at least, what I think about when I say that marriage is hard work. It's a blessing and wonderful, but definetly a lot of work.

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I will agree with Becky's comment 100%. I'm not sure why people say that, though. To make themselves feel like they're accomplishing something "hard"? LOL
Marriage is a give and take and sometimes you feel like walloping your DH (maybe that's just me sometimes), but its no harder than a job or being single.
I'm not sure that I helped, but that's what I'm thinking.

Karen said...

I've gotten comments like that from friends and family as well...especially concerning being a parent. I get that it's hard work too, and I hope I get to experience that challenge. But to have someone tell me that maybe it's better for me not to since I enjoy spending hours reading or sleeping in...well I'm sure they did the same at one point too!

Monica said...

That is a very strange comment to say to a single person!

I think you are right- when you only have yourself to take care of, it is easy and free, but a lot like a flat line. When you have a husband to consider, kids to take care of, your life becomes exponentially more complicated- but I think that is what makes it fun and challenging.

I hope you find Mr. Right, because it's worth the trouble he'll cause you. :-)