After Confirmation Mass and Names in the Future

Because of all the people at the Confirmation Mass I had to sit in the hurly-burly section of the church.

The Bishop said nothing about slapping the face of the Confirmation kids. He did give each of them a Holy Card of Blessed John Paul II as a souvenir.

After the two-hour afternoon Confirmation Mass, my dad and I went to a steakhouse to celebrate even though neither one of us was newly confirmed. And no, we didn't even know any of the newly confirmed.

The most popular confirmation name was Cecilia (chosen by five girls) followed by Theresa (two girls) and Genevieve (two girls). None of the other names were repeated. One girl chose Zoe. Is there a St. Zoe? Why, yes there is.

I suppose we'll have to wait many a year before there's a Saint Taylor or Saint Madison, but you never know. I really don't like those names and don't understand why parents name their girls after dead presidents. In future maybe there will be little girls named Bush and Obama. Bush Marie and Obama Grace could someday be playing princess. Then a new girl will come to school and she'll be Garfield Alana but is called Garfie for short. Garfield will become all the rage for baby girls and you can spell it Garfie, Garfi, or Garfy. Some young parents will then think they are cool and unique and spell it Jarfield because they don't understand phonics. When Jarfield Anne is in third grade, a boy will tease her and call her Jarhead. The boy's name will probably something like Hammer Scott, Wrench Michael, or Guard Elvis.

Just call me Eisenhower Brittany.