Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Everyday Life without an Anchor

1) Now that I am not praying that 30-Day Prayer, I feel insecure. I don't feel anchored like I did when I was praying it. My worries blow through my mind. Perhaps this is a sign that I need to pray every single day. My soul is wandering like a lonely cloud. (I must look up that particular poem.)

2) I rec'd a small but substantial check from my cousin, so my rent and some other essentials are covered for the next few months. And I can book an airline ticket to a sunnier state and visit my aunt. So why aren't I happy?

3) I'm bummed because yesterday I rec'd a rejection letter for that job I interviewed for.

4) I took a little nap on my couch and woke up too late to attend Bible study this evening. Slightly irritated with myself.

5) Just in case you think that because I am single I am living a glamourous life filled with friends and exciting nights on the town, I will tell you I am not. Actually I am lonely a lot. My friends are very busy. Also I do volunteer work several times a week. I think the place where I do volunteer work is doing me a favor by letting me hang out there and do little tasks.

6) Sunday afternoon was fun because I was at church helping decorate paper ornaments with markers, crayons, stamps and stickers for the Wishing Tree. Plus pizza and pop were served too. I talked to some nice ladies who were all older than I am. They were impressed by my primitive drawings. Afterwards, another lady and I took a nice walk since it was a warm and sunny afternoon.We got to know each other a little bit better.

7) When Advent starts I am going to make a concentrated effort to say Christmas instead of holidays.

8) One particular friend I exchange gifts with has been too busy to get together due to her husband and children. I just don't feel close to her anymore and don't feel like giving her a gift.

9) Though I am in my 40s, I still haven't given up the dream of getting married. I know other women who have gotten married for the first time when they were my age. Sometimes I look at pictures of wedding dresses. Nothing strapless because I wouldn't feel comfortable in that style.

2 comments:

"All in His Perfect Timing" said...

Lena, I'm so, so sorry that you didn't get hired for the job. I was praying it WOULD happen.
I'm also needing to make the effort to say Christmas instead of holidays too, even at work. I'm always inspired by those brave enough to do so ... and this year, it will be me!
Don't give up hope about finding your soulmate. God has impeccable timing. You're in my prayers - and I have to tell you - you're so brave for all the things you do by yourself. I can only imagine how hard it is to do sometimes.

Lena said...

Thank you, Perfect Timing, for your prayers and encouragement.