Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Marriage Questions

Once again I heard that marriage is work. Actually yesterday one friend said it's a pain in the ass, and it's compromise, compromise, compromise. So is marriage one big negotiation or what? So if you are happily married, what is it about being married that makes you happy? Why would you rather be married than single?

Honestly, I'm glad I am not doing the work of cooking dinner every single night or doing loads and loads of laundry. But why would that be my job? Or maybe those would be my jobs and the husband would have other jobs such as taking out the garbage and getting the oil changed in the cars. I have to take out my own garbage now and take my car in for oil changes.


is wanting children a valid reason for getting married? Or is that just marrying someone or just using them for their reproductive functions?


Becky said...

I'm not sure if you're thinking out loud or really expecting answers...those are hard questions to answer, I think. For me, it's not so black and white. I think that some of marriage has to be compromise because everyone naturally is selfish and usually puts themselves first. But the great thing about marriage is that it teaches you to learn to think of others, and that the compromises become sacrifices that you want to make for your partner. At least, that is the direction that it's supposed to go, but doesn't always go that way for everyone. I think that marriage has to be always viewed as a sacrament than anything else; because in this society, it's viewed more as a written agreement between two people that can be torn up at any minute.

I know from my own experience, that marriage is a lot of work with a lot of growing pains, but the work is more on my end than it is on his end. If you try to form and shape your husband, then you will be miserable. That is my long and short answer!

As to the children question--I think marriage and children come together so it's natural to want to marry so you can have children. Only the person can discern whether or not it is truly selfish if they want to get married for the reason of having children only. (that wasn't worded very well, but I'm sure you can figure it out!)

Lena said...

Thank you, Becky, for your answers.

I know the feeling of wanting to make someone you love happy. This isn't a marriage example, but sometimes I invite my dad to go places because I know he would enjoy getting out of the house.

I feel like I have experienced growing pains every time I start a new job because a person has to adjust to the office culture or politics and learn how to communicate and cooperate with bosses and co-workers. Okay, the boss has the upper hand and you get paid, but still it's working at relationships. Or being a houseguest or having a houseguest is a matter of making adjustments even though that's short term.

Thank you for your insight and experience, Becky.