Lemon Fresh

I went to confession at a different parish this evening. I walked in the church and wished there was a big sign that said "Sinners Line Up Here," with a big arrow and a long line, but no. Instead I had to go the back of "foyer" of the church and ask an usher-like man, "Where do I go to confession?" I was surprised that a little girl voice came out of my mouth, but I was worried that there wasn't confession happening despite what I read on the church's website. Also, I felt stupid and vulnerable.

Gratefully, the usher didn't say, "You pathetic little thing, sinful you, don't you know what's going on?" I was afraid of what he would think of me or that I'm not a practicing Catholic. I just didn't want to go to my own church because of SHAME. Honestly, you would think I was the only sinner since Adam and Eve.

Of course, the usher didn't mock or shame me. He did what a good usher man does and that was kindly walk me over to the confessional with the light system.

And

for the 

first time

in my

life

I went 

to confession 

in the little phone booth type room.

For the first time, there was a barrier between me and the priest and a kneeler. I actually knelt and spoke through this curtain and I LIKED IT.




I've always gone face-to-face previously.

So I confessed my sin.

The priest didn't just wave me off and forgive me quickly. This was NO HOLIDAY EXPRESS let's get the line moving say the Act of Contrition on your own time kind of reconciliation.

He asked some questions to get a quick picture of the situation. He gave me some good advice, spoke the truth pointing out some of the UGLY, and threw in some compassion, and we completed the sacrament.

And it was good.

I could have cried.

Why? Relief. Compassion. I believe the priest and God wanted the BEST for me as a child of God.

It is HIS JOB to point out the truth of the UGLY, but he did it kindly but directly.

Then I attended the vigil Mass knowing I was right with God again.

Since it is the Feast of the Baptism of the Lord, we got sprinkled with holy water, so I felt extra clean.

I am all Lemon Fresh again.

Aah. 

Hopefully I can keep this feelin' and do a better job of staying on the straight and narrow with God's help.