Finding My Advent Prayer Buddy

I wondered who was praying for me, and today I found out. The Chief at http://life-love-joy-hope.blogspot.com/ was praying for me. I'm reading her blog and am humbled by all her prayers and offerings she gave for me. I truly, truly am thankful.

THANK YOU, PRAYER BUDDY! 

Prayer Buddy Reveal

This Advent I prayed for Percolating Petals at http://percolatingpetals.blogspot.com/. I think of pink flowers when I think of her name. And I do like pink flowers. I prayed every day for her intentions and for God to look over her and watch and care for her.

Like her, I've been purging junk and non-junk items.

In the Spirit

I decorated my Christmas tree, and have started going to parties. All of a sudden I have an active social life. And I was SO lonely this past summer. I'm not looking forward to the actual Christmas Day with apathetic relatives. I will miss having a mate, having children, but I am enjoying the now of the season. I will enjoy Christmas Mass.

I like my tree with my pretty ornaments that are meaningful to me. I wrapped some small gifts to give to relatives who will probably not give me any presents. Sigh. But I like giving gifts. Honestly, I like receiving them too. I learned that I may not receive from the expected sources, but I do receive.

I even wrote a Christmas letter and in some cards I'm including a picture of myself.

To some of you who are struggling with infertility, let me be the one to tell you that it's okay to write a Christmas letter. Look, I have no job, no Mr. Romantic, no children, no siblings, and I still found a few things to write about. Sure, it was a short letter, but who wants to read a long, bragging letter anyway? It's okay to send a picture of self or yourself and hubby. You are people too. I like seeing pictures of my friends. Usually, I am MORE interested in seeing pictures of my friends than their children (who all seem to be gifted brain surgeons even though they're ten). Besides, Christmas isn't about ourselves. Christmas is about Mary, Jesus, and Joseph.

Just think of God's Chosen People who waited hundreds and hundreds of years for the Messiah. They lived and died without Jesus. Then He came, and the angels sang. We are living post-Bethlehem. We HAVE Jesus. We have Jesus EVERY WEEK when we go to Mass. Actually if I got up early I could have Jesus EVERY DAY at morning Mass.

Jesus did not have a mate, siblings, children, and I bet he didn't have an income while He was doing His ministry. But Jesus had friends, and I have friends. (Of course Jesus is God, and I don't mean to say we're alike. But it just hit me that Jesus was single and an only child.)

Letting Advent Soak Into Me

 It's not Christmas yet. It's Advent, and I need the entire Advent season to get into the Christmas spirit. Then I am usually in the Christmas spirit when the actual Holy Day comes around and enjoy the full 12 days of Christmas. I put up my tree, decorate, and send cards when I am good and ready and not a moment before.

Retailers are telling us it's Christmas. The Church says it's Advent. I am happier listening to the Church. Advent slowly sinks in, and I do more Christmas activities as time goes by.

I've been doing most of my shopping online because all the stores are cluttered and crowded.

My Favorite Advent Calendars

I have quite a collection of advent calendars and am posting some of my favorites. Some of them are so pretty I have never even opened the little paper doors because I don't want to ruin the pictures.

Which one do you like the best?

Prayer Intentions (Please Pray for Me, Prayer Buddy)

What I am praying for this Advent:

1) I am praying for my prayer buddy, ___{it's a secret}____. I'm not sure of her intentions (though I am reading her blog), but God knows the dreams and desires of her heart.
2) A job. It's seems like forever since I had a full-time job with benefits, paid vacation, etc.
3) Persistence and energy for this seemingly hopeless job search.
4) Wisdom and direction - that I am doing job search work that provides fruit. I ask the Holy Spirit to guide me in every cover letter I write, etc.
5) For a nice, good Catholic boyfriend who will then become a nice, good Catholic fiance' . . .
6) That I am the kind of person who attracts #5.
7) For the woman in my Bible study group who has a growing cancerous tumor.

I am thankful I have rent money for the upcoming months, and my father is still able to live independently. My daddy made me French Toast for breakfast on Thanksgiving morning. Yummy.

Lent is Coming

Winter is a difficult season for me because it's cold and dark and lifeless. Often I am depressed Give me sunlight, give me warmth is my motto. Then comes Lent.

I try to avoid Lent. It further depresses me. Ashes to ashes makes everything worthless. I don't like the focus on death. I feel apathetic.  The stations of the cross are just miserable. I've suffered enough in my life, but that's not the point. Christ suffered, and it's painful.

I don't go to sad movies either. Life in the here and now brings enough suffering, so I don't go looking for it.

But I am going to Mass on Ash Wednesday this year. Now, if you came here to look for a good Catholic role model then hop on over to someone else's blog. So don't gasp when I say I haven't gone to Ash Wednesday Mass in several years. Okay, gasp if you want.

On Sunday I was signing in for my communion minister duty when the liturgy director was there looking for ministers to serve on Ash Wednesday. I couldn't say no, so I signed up for 4:00 pm Mass.

I think I need a Lent calendar like an Advent calendar to help count the days until Easter. Maybe I will make one.

And I have to think about what to do on Easter and with whom. Last year Easter was filled with hurtful drama in my family. I was ready to throw myself under a bus when it was over. I don't want to relive that.
 

Advent - Time for Preparation

It's really difficult to get into the Christmas spirit sometimes.If someone dies, or if there's family conflict, or if I am just not feeling jolly, I can't really get into the whole jingle, jingle of it. (Someone told me that he hates the whole "forced merriment" of the season. I love that phrase). Usually it takes me most of Advent to get into the Christmas mood, and that's why I've sent out Christmas cards on December 26, 27, 28, and so on.

My pastor Father G. reminded us that Advent is to prepare for the coming of the Lord. It's not Christmas until December 25, and then it's Christmas for twelve entire days (until January 6).

No wonder, I'm not in the Christmas mood yet. I am just preparing, so I am not even expected to be in the Christmas spirit now .Hmm, I thought I was being humbugg-y all these years.We Catholics are suppose to be preparing during these the next few weeks. Hey if you're already in the Christmas Spirit then glad tidings to you. I'll just prepare for and proceed towards Christmas day by day at my usual slow place because I really do need every day of Advent. I have been normal and fine all these years.

By the way, did I mention I have an awesome collection of Advent calendars? One of my dear aunts gave me an Advent calendar every year when I was growing up, and I saved them all. Many of them were made in West Germany (before the wall came down).

First Sunday of Advent

Yesterday I passed out Advent Calendars to a group of friends at lunch. Most of them are not Christian, but readily accepted them. Do they know what Advent is? The calendar had to be explained to a few of them. However, they do celebrate Christmas. Someone suggested we do a Secret Santa, so we drew names. I am glad that Christ's name is part of Christmas. They seem to like getting into the spirit of it all. Since I made the Advent calendars, I'm glad they were happy to receive them. I like sharing the Christmas spirit with them.

The closing song at today's Mass was the rousing "City of God."