Puss in Boots, Paul, Prison, Penance, Penn State, Peace

It's Saturday Night


Today's post is brought to you buy the letter P.

This afternoon my friend and I went to see Puss in Boots. There's one scene in which Puss in Boots and Jack from Jack and the Beanstalk were in prison. I thought about how St. Paul was in prison and wrote letters. We are reading The Acts of the Apostles in Bible study, and it must be sinking in. We both enjoyed the action packed movie, which was funny.

When the movie was over, I picked up my dad so we could go to confession and 5:00 pm Mass. When we arrived there was only one guy in line, but we still had to wait a bit while Father G. wrapped up a nuptial mass. You know, I have never gone to confession behind a screen or in a little dark box. I have always gone face-to-face. Outside the reconciliation room, there is a pocket with sheets of Guide to Confession for those who of us who . . . um . . . don't frequent this sacrament as much as we should. It's good if you're nervous too, or you grew up post-Vatican II and never had to memorize The Act of Contrition. Shameful, I know.

So I confessed my sin, which was weighing heavily on me. The priest said, "Well, sometimes things happen, but you can't keep beating yourself up about it." I almost cried. Anyway, he gave me absolution and assigned my penance. When I walked out of the reconciliation room, my dad said, "You're done so quick." Well, my sin seemed SO BIG and HEAVY to me that I couldn't think of any others.

So my dad took his turn in the recon room then we went into the sanctuary to pray and wait for Mass to begin, And I had to do my penance. (And I thought I got off really light with my penance.) Well, when we got into the sanctuary, I got very angry and thought I was going to have to turn right around and go back into confession.

You see, the bridal party and all their hanger-ons were taking pictures and talking very loudly. Children were running amok. The photographer had such a big set up with umbrellas and thick electrical cords and lights in front of the altar. The bride was yelling at people across the church telling them they had to be in this picture and that picture.

I wanted some peace and quiet, so I could PRAY. Usually, after confession I am in a very joyful peaceful, prayerful state. I usually feel closer to God. Instead I was upset with this yelling, running around, chattering, lights, camera, and action. The Tabernacle was obstructed. I was trying to guide my dad (suffering from low-vision), so he wouldn't trip over any cords. Then my thoughts ran to how unoriginal the bridal gown was and the ugly colors of the bridesmaid dresses.

I almost yelled, "QUIET! There are people trying to pray here." More people were coming in for 5:00 Mass, and one lady had her rosary out. Apparently some people like to have some quiet prayer time before Mass starts.

I wondered if I was wrong to expect a quiet church, so I could say my Our Father's and Hail Mary's. I mean if there had to be talking, couldn't they speak quietly in their indoor voices? The sacrament of Holy Matrimony looked like an overblown pageant in a casino at this point. So I was feeling very unkind.

Finally, a parish lady shooed out the bride and her merry revelers and eventually Mass started. I thought it was ironic that the first reading was the Proverbs 31 wife.

During the homily Father G. spoke out about the evil that was allowed to happen at Penn State. He told us as Christians we must speak out against evil even if we are afraid, become unpopular, or at risk. I am glad Father G. spoke out about Penn State because I have been mad about it all week. Of course, Father G. spoke about Penn State for about 4 minutes and spent 20 minutes on other Gospel-y topics.

As Mass went on, I finally felt Peace and Grace settle over me like a warm cloak - all warm and cozy with God.

Imagine the peace of being out in the countryside on a starry, starry night.

Waiting and The Difference Between Male and Female Doctors

Did I really hear my cousin correctly when he told me the amount of inheritance?
Now I must wait for him to distribute the assets. And wait, and wait, and wait. I must restrain myself from spending the money I don't have yet.
I did make a list of charities to give to including my local church.
I must be a good steward.

God, give me the wisdom to be prudent with how I spend or invest the money. Please, God, give me wisdom, and lead me to wise and ethical advisors.

I don't want to be like the prodigal son who spent all his money on wine, women, and song. But I am going to give myself a special treat if I don't get that job I interviewed for.

I must remember that shiny objects don't bring happiness. 

I do have a pile of medical bills to pay off: a lot because these days every little single part of your body requires its own medical specialist. Plus I had surgery earlier this year.

Here's the difference between my female doctors and male doctors. The female doctors' offices send me a statement every now and then. They never hassle me for money, and gracefully accept any small amount I am able to pay. They continue to treat me. They give me a break on the charges. They discount services.

The male doctors' offices and the Catholic hospital (male administrators) send bill collectors after me. They do not acknowledge the monetary stress of unemployment or the reality that unemployment means I am not earning an income. They send me letters threatening to fire me as a patient. They charge me extra if my insurance doesn't cover a procedure.
Guess which doctors I will be paying off first? Yep, the female doctors for their understanding, their patience, their belief in me that someday I WILL be able to pay my entire bill.  And I will send these doctors a little note of appreciation with my payment because I really, truly appreciate them.

Fast Acting Novena Part IV - Windfall

Today is Day 24 of my 30-Day Novena

I just learned how much my inheritance is. It is enough money to pay my rent for the next year!!!!! And enough to pay off my medical bills. And to buy a new car, but I'll hold off on that. My car is very old, but it is still running.

I can give money to charities. I can take my dad out for a steak dinner. I can give more money to my church. I can get a flu shot. I can give money to the needy instead of being the needy.

I will save, save, save because I have learned to do without a lot of stuff during this time of unemployment.  I don't know how long I will be unemployed. Hopefully not that much longer.

Thank you for praying for me. I got a break. 

Thank You, God! Thank you, Mary, for your intercession.

Consider the lilies in the field . . .  Matthew 6:28

Altar Boys and Girls, Holding Hands

Is it me, or does having girl altar servers look weird? I mean they are normal looking girls, but it seems strange to have girls being altar boys.

I really don't like holding hands during the Our Father at Mass. It seems fakey even though they all seem like fine people.

Slippery Hope, Waiting on Novena, Misfit Among Marrieds on Seraphic Singles

Today is Day 22 of my 30 Day Novena.

Hope remains slippery and difficult to hold on to. I am still waiting to hear about the full-time job I interviewed for. Now I am afraid of going to my mailbox and receiving a rejection letter.

Once again I rec'd another letter from my aunt's attorney about my inheritance, and it has me worried. She has made mistakes, so I am unclear if I'll receive any money. I so WANT TO BELIEVE that I've been gifted with money and God is good and prayer works especially since I am unemployed. Perhaps this is a test from the devil?

Dear God, Please, provide for my needs like rent and food. Dear God, I continue to pray for a way out of my financial despair. Dear God, I am asking to work my way out of it. Dear God, please keep me in the palm of your hand. Dear God, help me hang onto hope. Dear God, please lead to a bright and shiny future.

If you are reading, would you please say a prayer? It's so hard when I can't see what's over the hill and around the bend.

A few days ago, I made a comment on Seraphic Singles and in response she wrote an entire post. Click here to read her post.  I felt "heard." Thank you, Seraphic.

Making Babies: My Comments on Little Catholic Bubble Blog

Discussion on Little Catholic Bubble Blog

Over on Little Catholic Bubble Blog there has been an ongoing conversation about abortion, child bearing, biology, sex, and a few other things. Here is a comment I made.

A woman can help ensure that she is not solely responsible for her children by getting MARRIED to a responsible man with family values before partaking in the baby-making-act. 

You see, since raising a child is such a HUGE undertaking requiring A LOT of time and resources, there is this system called MARRIAGE. God knew that a child needs a father and mother, so that's why there were nuclear families throughout the land. 

Single Ladies: before hopping in bed with a guy ask yourself if want to co-parent with this person. Ask yourself how committed he will be towards this child if he has not committed himself to you. EVERY method of birth control has a FAILURE rate even if it's one percent. How do you know you won't be that one percent? Somebody has to be that one, two, three or twenty percent. You could be a mother sooner than you think! That's reality.

All Saints Day, My Mother's Death, Nice Jesus

I went to noon Mass today, and it was beautiful and holy with the sun shining in through the windows. The priest reminded us how we are all called to be saints (and do our best towards that goal) due to our seals from Baptism and Confirmation.

Seven years ago today, I buried my mother. I wish she didn't have to die, but we all have to die sooner or later. Mistakes were made at the hospital, and I've had to forgive them. Tip: if you are post-surgical, and the doctor and nurses said you have gas pains, make sure you really do have gas pains. I can't believe I'm writing about gas pains on a post about All Saints Day.

Anyway, when my father received the hospital bill for mom's surgery, he sent a note back saying he's not going to pay it because she died at the hospital. Guess what? The hospital never billed him again. Nor was the account sent to a collection agency. They probably didn't want to be sued. And believe me, we thought about suing. But suing would have met a long, painful, expensive, upsetting process. How could we go one with our lives if we were mad at the past? I just don't like being mad.

What helped bring me peace is that our relative who is a doctor reviewed the autopsy report. Our relative said their are risks are inherit in every surgery, and she fell into that very low percentage of death from the surgical complications. Also, my dad met with Mom's doctor for conversation. According to my dad, the doctor was very upset over the death and CRIED. I had no desire in ruining this doctor's life or practice. He is guilty of being human, not malicious.

There's more blame to go around, and hopefully the hospital people learned from their errors. Sure I wish my dad and I were floating in money, but how much is a life worth? Maybe we are wimpy.  Again, I'm out of sync with today's American society who sues over every little thing.

What do people do with all the money from winning a wrongful death suit? Unless there are minor dependents who need to be supported, why money? Do people buy mansions and fancy cars? Are they vacationing in Monaco?

Maybe we should have sued, and we would not be living with financial stress. Well, I'm less stressed since I started this 30-day Novena. I just had to turn the stress over to Jesus and concentrate on doing what I can do in finding work. I just could not carry the worry anymore. The worry was too big for me.

This picture of Jesus makes him look nice. I need Him to be nice and take care of me.