I have received some charity of late.
Some people give to me without conditions, without emotional blackmail, without disgust, without judgement. These are some friends, some charitable organizations, some volunteers, some social workers.
I say thank you a lot.
Those who say they love me (we share genetic material), give with conditions, with emotional and verbal abuse, with judgement if they give at all. They hurt my heart.
I say thank you a lot.
I write thank you notes.
I think the people in the first group are the ones who really love me even if they don't always know me.
I cry a lot. I cry when people are nice and compassionate. I cry when family members are mean.
And some people just don't want to deal with me and my problems. We stopped saying anything to each other.