Friday, June 6, 2014

Does a Gift of Money Mean You Get to Take Control of Person?

My aunt (godmother) gave me money to bring my rent current, so I didn't get evicted. And she verified that fact with the property manager.

I of course thanked her profusely both in person and in writing.

She said it was a gift.

Then a week later she made an appointment for me with a financial planner. She said she will sit in on the meeting with me and this mysterious financial planner to discuss all my debts. She said she wasn't giving me any more money (nor have I asked for any).

I decided to decline because I see this at a control issue as she planned to sit in on the meeting. And how can I pay off my debts when I am trying to meet my basic needs (food, healthcare, meds, roof over head, gas, taxes, electricity, phone, internet)???? And my cable has been cut off, so I have no t.v. service - not even basic t.v.

In my nicest, friendliest manner ever, I thanked her for her help but now is not the time for a financial planner. (I didn't mention that I already have a financial planner who told me to get a high paying job) I told her I appreciate the effort, but no thank you.

She is angry at me and said she now expects me to pay her back the money. And I'm on her s*** list.

Believe me, I don't spend money on any illicit activities or goods, and am not living a high roller lifestyle.

I would cut out the internet part if I weren't applying for jobs and doing a part-time, temp. contract work.

Sure, I'll put her on my list of debtors, but basically I pay off my debts in the order I incur them. Also, right now the IRS payment plan I am on is a much higher priority.

Hey, I wish I had a high paying steady permanent job. I wish I could give other needy people money. And in the past I have happily donated to worthy causes.

Have you had any experience in lending, gifting, receiving, borrowing money from family?


Becky said...

I'm sorry to hear this. Money is such a hard problem (the lack of it, I mean) and people making it harder by not understanding does not help! I think you were right to stand up to her; it was a control issue, not really a way to help you. I really hope things get easier for you soon!

That said, I finally found that book I wanted to give you! I also have a new blog--thought you might be interested since you have always said I should get back into blogging! :-) Just click on my profile. I'll try to get that book out to you soon.

Lena said...

Thank you, Becky. Another relative has decided to give me financial aid for the short-term.